Loss of a Loved one : Lesson learned:  So 2 weeks ago we buried my aunt Connie now I grew up in NJ away from my dad’s family but I have to say I loved them all dealt the Loss of my aunt Connie struck me hard because I think of her words often and what she has taught me about life and death and suffering.

My Aunt Connie to me is always connect to my Dad’s mom or my Nana.  My grandmother  and Connie would sit at the table usually next to each other with there done my hair and always perfect nails. Connie always referred  to her mom as “Ma” like my Dad in the best Long Island a accent and my dad “Peater” aka Peter.

Connie like me had a struggled with her weight in a family of “skinny minis” both her brothers and sister.  Connie was the Aunt I heard them say Connie looks good … Meaning her weight was down… I often wonder if the similar  discussions were had about me. There were always the pictures around of Connie when she was in her most beautiful in her 20’s looking like a movie star.

My Aunt Connie had her daughter young and never married. Helen was the 1st grand child.  Helen got very sick and died slowly from cancer and that is one of 2 lessons Connie taught me … Connie told me when Helen was at her worst before she passed she begged her Mom to end the pain.. Connie said it was horrible to watch her suffer, she wish she could have aided in the end but you can’t. “You just have to make the comfortable”.

This has allowed me to deal with death in a gift like way. Now my suffering has not at this point been anything to Connie’s but when the time has come for my pets I think of Connie’s word and provide the gift of death for my beloved pets and give them the gift you can’t give a human life.  I think of her words often and shared the thought of them often to others. I never got to tell Connie how much her words give me solace .

The second is Connie’s ability to move on and continued happy disposition despite of her circumstances. She was always generally up beat. She had a hard life as a waitress and raising. kid on your own in the 1950-60’s was easy task and still she did . My Aunt Connie was happy and she lit up a room with her laugh and smile.

I hope someday when my nieces and nephews think of me they smile with joy .

She left us very suddenly and I am thankful she did not suffer.

Miss you Aunt Connie.