Category Archives: LIfe

This is Sherry Aikens life and struggles.

LIfe, Uncategorized

Gift Exchange Idea

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So I have a Christmas party at my house every year for my husbands family. & years ago when we started we would try to think onf theme. One year is was entertainment.  The problem was we would have an issue with not every one like the same thing. So we  a few years back I decided to come up with an idea that people  can buy a gift that fits all year.   We choose based on the letter of the Alphabet, we started with “A”  then every year is a different letter..

  • We set a Limit of $15, gift must begin with letter of the year.  (D-dish, D-Dog treats, D-dinners card)
  • Every adult  brings the wrap gift  unmarked
  • We all get a number and pick in order of number
  • Gift are opened as they  picked so everyone can see
  • Anybody with a later number can steal the gift from an earlier person or pick a new gift from the pile (that is where the fun begins)
  • we do one more swap at the end for people who don’t like there gift to re-exchange

 

So this year  we are to the  letter “E” .

Gift Ideas For E




Every Year it is the one think that we all look forward to who is going to hide there gift under there chair so as not to have it scavenged by someone with a better number.   The teenagers old take from there great uncles and vice versa.  it is a;sp a great idea for office partys. For the little kids each parent brings a book for there kid to open.   One year my son cried so I could get the gift off another person.

What ideas do you go for Christmas Holiday exchanges ?

LIfe, Marriage

My Trilogy : The supportive men in my life

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Last night I went to hear authors Danielle Smith and Aliza Sherman talk about their book Mom Incorporated. During part of the talk,  we they discussing the issue of men’s support and being a female entrepreneur .   Specifically raising a family, juggle “hustle” as (Danielle put it) and still trying to follow your own dreams.

What this made me realize is how fortunate I am, to have 3 men in my life that believe and emotional support me no matter what. How unusually it is for me to have unconditional support of men.  My husband, my father, and my brother.

  • My husband – Jeff  has always “gotten” what I have done. From my past life, when I traveled when my son was 6 months to now  with my late nights.  Jeff has always been supportive and understanding of my need to work.  I don’t know if he gets it because he is in a similar creative space or the fact that he loves my independence.  I like to think it is both.  He is always there support me and us through our dreams.   Never questioned my drive or think why can you be this or that, Jeff nurturing and calming my fears. He is amazing.
  • My father I have  a kinship with him. My Dad has always gotten me as well. I don’t know if it was the fact we both traveled or both have an entrepreneurial spirit. I defiantly did not fall far from the tree.  It might be that my Dad has always told me “Sherry you will accomplish whatever you set your mind to and I know I never have to worry about you” He always knew I would.  He has support my decision to go into fashion design and I saw a joy in him when I looked at colleges. I never question my decision in a long shot career,  he knew I would do well in fashion, even when it was unfamiliar to him. I love that.
  • My brother He is the most recent addition to my supportive male list. When we were kids I was the bratty sister. In recent years we have come to a wonderful relationship. He once told me I think that “you can figure out anything Sher.” “You amaze me how you learn and know this stuff.  There is no doubt you will get all your dreams. “  I know at any point I can run to him, talk and her hears me.  My brother is a wonderful single father.   I am proud of him, his daughter will grow up know that she loved supported, and confidant.    My niece has a dad that is supportive hopefully she will only seek our people who are supportive of her.. Continuing the cycle.

So as my family has grown my son has become supportive of me as well so excited when something happens.  Sharing what his mommy does and modeling his Dads behavior. That is not a lesson I could have taught him it something he has experienced.  I am so happy to know that someday he will give unconditional support to the people in his life.

Like everyone I do question and fall prey to self doubt. When you wonder if what you are doing is right?  following your dreams.

Last night Danielle Smith said it best “You have to do what is right for your family and only you know that answer for your family,” so don’t listen to non supportive others.

I love Danielle’s statement with so many women question there careers and goals.

Aliza Sherman said “Remember to put on your Air Mask 1st” .. is that true when you believe in yourself you can help others.

One may ask Why do we even need a males support?  I am sure there is some reason saying we really don’t’ but the truth is a women/girl are so much stronger when she has support.  My wish for you is I hope you have people around you that support your vision.

You are amazing and beautiful!

It is amazing what can be accomplished when a women is supported empowered by her own creatively and dreams.

Thanks, Jeff, Dad, and Peter

Danielle Smith and Aliza Sherman are currently on a book tour of their Mom Incorporated. If you have a chance to meet them and hear them talk they are inspiring.

LIfe, Parenting

We are not Traditional Moms

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So she learned how tie her own sketchers shoes.  One more step to her not needing me for the little thing. Don’t get me wrong I am happy but it is bitter sweet.  She is my baby.  I look back I missed a lot even though I was here for most of it.

When my son was born I went back to work. I breast fed him and pumped 3 times a day because of the guilt of being a working mother and not being there for him. (of course also the health reason) But it was because I want to be providing for him what others could not.  When he started solid food  I made his own babyfood.. mainly because of the need to be there for him.

I was in Boston on a business trip,  when he walked for the 1st time to my husband in Florida.  I spend a month before his 3nd birthday in  Korea. I missed a lot with my son.  It was hard to know that my husband was doing a lot for our son.  But that is the way the cookie crumbed. I always thought I would like to stay home.   The truth is I need to work and earn and contribute (I also have to).  This is a concept that is difficult for others understand.  But it is my reality and no judgment to others who have chosen a different path.

It is truly a tripled edge sword.   I have spoke to others career women moms. It is a struggle because they love what they do ..but they are  angry because of missing out and also having to be the provider. You start to feel like a trapped rat.

I changed my life to be home, then unsettled I started my own superhero cape business.  Because of my need to build  I grew my business.  I was not suppose to really grow till my daughter was 5 .. best laid plans.  I took off when she was 3.  Even though I am working in my house- I work all the time.  I have missed it.. and I was there.  The day came, I had to put her in daycare to work at home.

I feel superexhausted a lot. My husband lost his job 1 ½ year ago so he works with me on Babypop. I do loving him around because he gets to see and help in my everyday.   But  again I am same position I have been struggling and juggling .  We have a difference mothering experience than that of our mothers.  It is hard for us to related to traditional roles,  we longing for a simpler life but want our own world. There is that sword again… Sometimes it sucks.

But today I saw her tie her own shoes.

 

LIfe

Blond Or Brunette : Bounce it off Millions

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So as you know I have been struggling with my Grey hair. Lately I feel like I need a change,  so I decide to put my hair color up to a vote.  I am going to ask millions what color hair should I go with Brunette or Blond?  I am going to Bounce the idea off millions on Bounce’s Facebook page.

Here are a few options I came up with using a virtual  hair color makeover site.

With Blakey Lively hair  so do I look gossip girl worthy?

Amanda Bynes  Platinum Blond

Juile Roberts be cause who does not want to be Pretty Women

Normal mouse brown

Katy Perry Brown

So what is your question to bounce of Millions?

I am doing this post as part of one2one network for the bounce promotion.

LIfe

Rembering 911 Where we you?

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Where were you ?  That is the questions we will always ask on this day 911.  For me I was arriving in at work for a quick stop then heading to the Miami Beach convention center for a textile show. I walked in and Pinito said “a plane crashed in the building the twin tower”.   Confused, when the second plane flew in I call my father in northern NJ just outside of NYC. I was talking to him on the phone when he said “Sherry it is falling.  The twin towers are falling.” As I write this the chills of the day returning  making the hair stand up on my arms.

I can’t remember when I hung up with my father.. I can’t remember going back to my office, just sitting watching on my computer to see what we could find out.  My boss called don’t come to the show they are evacuating Miami convention center there was a bomb threat.

Around 10:30 I get a call from my sons daycare they are sending every kid home.. they had no power.  (was it related) nothing made sense.

Racing I pick up my 6 month son in Ft Lauderdale and  headed to Boca Raton where my husband worked I wanted to be together. We sat in his office conference room watching on the big screens.. crying.  My father called “my cousins lost their best friend he worked for that company about the 81 floor”.  Crushed I could not escapes the images.

There was no airplane noise we live near and airport.

I sat and watched the Tv crying nursing my baby boy for days.   I was obsessed with the daycare in the bottom of “The Tower”.. did the babies kids get out?  The news caster spoke of the day care but never told me if they got out did the parents get out?   Finally my mom told me a couple days later that ABC did a report with the hero’s  and they got all the kids out. I held my boy tighter.

I remember we took a flight to Newark  on 9/22 11 days after that day. I was determined not to be scared.  Newark airport was in kaos .. luggage abandoned everywhere because they we scanning everything.  There was a US marshal on every flight. My husband carried a roll of quarters in a sock “just in case” or his backup plan a can of soda.  My husband , son and I got on the flight together. We would all go down together. We would not let them make us fearful.

I turned off the news about a week after 911 and did not turn it back on for 6 years  I still don’t watch it.   My heart broke for those families .  Senseless death.. follow by more hatred.  I think all Americas where changed that day. We looked at freedom differently, we hold our families closer.

As I sit 10 years later  in Philadelphia the birth place of this great country,  I am proud to be an America and in those days months weekend years I AM STILL PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

Peace and Payers to all!

LIfe, Parenting

New School New Grade

PencilsBack to school time is a happy day.  This year I really am going to miss them when they head back. The kids are finally easy I know it would last for long because I am 2-3 years away from teenage drama. My son age 10 still has this innocent and honesty that I love.  He still love to hugs me and wants to be with me. I think he knows he is getting older and wants to stay young.

He is independent but protected. He does a ton of stuff by himself but I have kept him shelter from stuff (news MTV, horror movies).   Originally it was not by design but I did not want him be exposed to too much soon.  He still only watches cartoons,  no ICarly or Wizards of Waverly or even ABC Wipeout on Tv.  He did not care for the Diary of a Wimpy kids movies because the children we mean to some of the others kids.  It was fine when he read the books,  but when we saw it being acted out he did not like it.  He also tells me when things are inappropriate for himself or his sister. Sometimes I think he is a better parent than me,  self protecting himself.

So this morning,  as he went to a new school (5thgrade) and road the bus for the 1st time (he was a walker prior.  He is going from a school class of 90 students  to over 400kids.   I worry will he fit in and will get picked on because of his kind outgoing nature.  I wish he had a tougher skin.  All summer I have been prepping him.  If someone says something mean, how to deal with it.  I don’t want him to be the guy who always runs to the teacher if the situation does not warrant it.  I know “No bullying” and “No place for hate zones.”  I do feel that some kids try to test the waters to see who is a target for bullying and who is not.  So the easier my son lets it roll of his back the less target he will be.  It is a life skill that needs to be learned.  Because people are not always nice.

My the conversation when like this:

Me: “If they say something not nice about you or to you  you just say “Whatever” and walk away

Him: “I can do that”

me:  “why?  it is ok.”

Him: “Mommy you told me that that is rude and never to do it”

Me:” it is ok buddy if a kids at school says something mean it is a great way to get out of it”

Him: “but that is mean to say whatever you said.. ”

Me:  “No, you can’t do it to adults but it is fine to do to a mean kid”

Him: “I think it is inappropriate  and I am not doing it”

Me: thinking really I taught him too well, he is a good boy

So  my wish is for him to have a smooth transition.. as my heart is exposed the mama bear wants to protect.

 

LIfe, Parenting

Gray Hair family trait

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So women in my family go gray early.  I was told the earlier you go gray the better hair you have as you get older so, not as wiry.

My grandmother started going gray at 20 and was completely white by 40.  She embraced the white and wears a bob cut. Even at 92 she still has great longer hair.  She told me she could never wear it short in pin curls with a purple tint,  she will never be that old..

My mother she started going gray at an early age also.  She fought the battle and had ever color in the book.  Red, blond, and  brown.  My childhood photo album has a different women in every picture.  Sometimes I wish I had the guts to try many colors but I can’t bring myself to do it.  She is now white in a great thick bob cut.  I never got the thick hair.

My sister .. well lets say she was born brunette. I like her as a blond and she has the thick hair.

Me  mouse brown/gray..not I did not get the thick hair so much for genetics.

So this morning I am sitting with my daughter:

I have to dye my hair today

She says “why mommy?”

“to cover my gray”

her: “I don’t see gray”

wait for it..

Her “oh there it is.. I can see it”

I like her better when she was oblivious.. my satisfaction she will follow in my foot steps.  as I head up stair to make my grey /white hair .. a lovely shade of light brown/pink.

 

LIfe

Mr. BMW

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I was driving to the post office today.  This lovely driver proceed to beep at me to make the left hand turn. I turned when it was clear.  Me in my big Durango and him in his little BMW.  I was in front and had the better vantage point.   Once making the turn I drove down to the post office and turned in the one way entrance and park.  Mr. BMW went the in the exit and then had to park  (backing up several times to get in the spot correctly since they were facing toward the entrance.

I hopped out of the car and arrive in line prior to him.  Mr. BMW was behind me. This gave me great pleasure.  I had a lot of packages I was shipping.  He had to wait till I mailed my parcels before he was served (I smiled with a smirk.)

I struggled with not saying something to Mr. BMW.. But he was not worth it.  I was not going to make the turn until I was ready, and I am not rushing to the spot  because I have 3 other people at home who rely on me.

So Mr. BMW .. you will not get me aggravated because you are just not worth it.

I am trying to rise above and stay calm … so who pissed you off lately?

LIfe, Marriage, Psoriasis

Kim Kardashian & My Husband

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Kim Kardashian and her Psoriasis diagnosis.  I am glad that Kim has shared openly about her recent psoriasis diagnoses. I hope that Kim finds some relief  from her psoriasis symptoms. Her concern is really because how she makes her living her looks which is a fine way to make a living and she has the right to do so.  Her Mother has the condition, she understands the affects of the psoriasis and how it can affect her life.   I do have some understanding of her discomfort, because the love of my life has Psoriasis.

Last week,  Sherri Shepherd from the talk show “The View” said openly she does not get what the big deal is psoriasis  is like dandruff.  I don’t normally comment on what is said by celebs.  But Sherri Shepherd,  you truly are ignorant on this subject and should have kept your mouth shut.

Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease .   It is a disease that can be  debilitating –  psoriatic arthritis, is a disease that comes from Psoriasis along many other serious health conditions.

I have had the misfortune to see what the flake skin disease can do to a family. My husband has 90% coverage of Psoriasis and is inflicted with Psoriatic arthritis.  We have heard many, many treatments over the years.

So Sherri here is your education on effect of this simple skin issue aka  Psoriasis:

  • When my husband could not move for 6 months-  Sure it was a like dandruff.
  • When my husband could not limb the stairs to come to bed and slept in recliner- Yea the white flakes were annoying
  • When they gave a Handicap pass to a 38 year old man and he walked with a cane- A good loofah will scrub that away.
  • When you take cancer medications and expose yourself to treatments that can give you skin cancer- Have you rubbed the diaper from a new born baby on the spots? (really)
  • When I drag my husband off the toilet because he did not have the strength – Vaseline will clear that right up.
  • When you husband asks you not to leave him alone with the kids because if something go wrong he might not be able to move to help. We changed our diet.
  • When he lost 50lb in 5 months because it hurt to eat because of the pain- Have you drank the urine from a English donkey?
  • When we got to the end of all experimental drugs and had an allergic reaction to the last one- Soak in vinegar then wrap in plastic wrap?
  • When the drug to treat it cost $20,000 a month-  Have you tried Lestoil cleaner on the spots I hear it helps cost $1.89?
  • When I cried every day because I was not sure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life caring for an invalint at the age of 36-Calamine lotion take me away.
  • When my son asked my husband when they can go camping or fish again..then he just stopped asking- Yea the mayonnaise is a great moisturizer.
  • When you wake up with blood all over the sheets because he scratched himself raw in the middle of the night- Neutrogena t-gel with coal tar can help?
  • When you think at the age of 21 that you should have a vasectomy so you do not want to pass the disease on to your future children- Have you tried fish oil?
  • When my children wondered why Daddy could not hug them because he cant handle a squeeze-   Just don’t wear black clothing people won’t notice.
  • When you think you family will be better off without you when you are at your sickest- Because Head and Shoulders can fix it.

Believe it or not my husband has tried many of the suggestion above (I will leave you guessing)  because when there is no cure, you do get desperate and what else are you going to do but laugh.

So I ask people to understand Psoriasis is Not contagious. There is no need to get out of the pool when some one with spots gets in.

Psoriasis is a disease that affects 7.5 million Americans of that  30% get psoriatic arthritis (2.5 million Americans)  ,  there is no cure, just treatment, and affects my family.

My response to Sherri Shepherd:

So NO Psoriasis is not just dandruff.

To get more Information about Psoriasis  check out the National Psoriasis Foundation

LIfe, Marriage, Parenting

Sleep? When I’m dead

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bear bed

Sleep is a sacred thing to me. I don’t like to be woken up and I am not a morning person any one who know me knows that I don’t really function until after 9:30am and I 2 cups of coffee.  I think sleep is not a relaxing thing for me.  I feel all the time as a Mom someone is hanging or needs something. During the days it is kids, husband, or clients.  At night the kids want to snuggle which is good and bad because I tend to fall as asleep.   But lets talk sleep.

I get in bed and I am a one foot out of the cover temperature control.  I am a Belly  sleeper . In comes my husband  he is a side sleep one hand draped over.  I  like nothing on me beside the sheets you think after 19 years I would get use to the arm.. nope.  Do not disturb the sleeping giant.. (me).  It takes me a long time to fall asleep some days when I am processing the days events others it is a quick process.  If my husband is not in bed  he wakes me when he gets in.  He does not turn o n the lights he does not disturb the bed .. but he wakes me.  Me since I love sleep awake from my 10 min slumber grouchy.

Kid and sleep  so my kids .. So when my son was young and he use to sneak in our bed. every night he was a nursing baby till the age of 15monthn and walked t 10 months so he would come and sleep with us because he could get up and come to our bed.  Once we moved to Philly we put a stop to the visits.  So instead he would simply Yell from his bed “SNUGGLE” (image a blood cursing screen) every night.. so I can honestly say for the first 3  years of his life I never slept.

Then I was pregnant with my daughter she was a preemie.   I lived at the hospital 1 months before and 2 months after her birth.  Then she wore a heart monitor for 6 months .. so no sleep there.

She on the other hand is all business she will only snuggle for about 5 minutes Then says “ok mommy you need to leave so I can sleep”.  But her trick is she comes in our room at stares at you while you sleep..  in the middle of the night… it is 7:00 am but still creepy.

So my husband have instructed the door closed rule .. if it is close you are not allowed in.   But now is my husband who wakes me…So on the rare days I take a nap every 6 months I can hear my husband , or my son telling the others to be quite  because I am taking a nap there for keeping me up.

no peace for me.. I guess I will sleep when I am dead