Category Archives: LIfe

This is Sherry Aikens life and struggles.

LIfe, Parenting

What to expect when your child is Learning to Swim

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There is affiliate links in this post

girl swimmingWhat to expect when your child is Learning to Swim. I have a rule my kids must learn to swim.  Here are my recommended ages and ideas on your kids learning to  swimming.   FACT: 2nd leading cause of accidental death of kids under the age of 14 in the US.  10 kids a day die due to drowning.  Also a main reason for me,  my parents and in laws live near lakes and ponds.  I have pushed the issue of swimming the 1st sport my kids had to learn, no soccer, or t-ball till they had knowledge in the water.  Not only is swimming a safety issue but it is a great sport for a lifetime.  You can swim from a year till you are 100+.

So a few years ago I wrote my safety tips on swimming.  I urge you to read it.

This year my 8 year old daughter has found her swimming ablity,  a parent it is lovely to watch.  My son 12 who as been swimming for year took the spring session off of swimming but admitted to me last night that he misses the regular exercise and being in the water.

When you child becomes a regular swimmer several things happens:

  • Routine  they swim on a regular basis they come to expect it
  • Water confidence but also a respect for the water – realistic fear of water
  • Improves on  concentration: Swimming is a sport where you have to concentrate or you drown
  • Swimmer make better students  Studies have show that on average swimmers had a better grade point average  then other sports
  • Self Reliance you are competing against yourself and others to get a better time.  You are against yourself ultimately
  • Caloric intake goes up at 1st then slows down over time.

mom and baby in poolThe best way to really get a kids swimming is not the weekly lessons at the YMCA.  Where as they are great to get your child familiar with the water and hour 1/2 week will not make a strong swimmer anytime soon it is fine for under 4 years of age.  If you can find a local summer program like at a local pool,  that has lessons  every day and you follow through on a regular basis with will stick for a lifetime.

What to expect when your child is Learning to Swim:

Swimming age 1-2 years What to expect: I promote my child / baby getting in the water and going under for an early age.  My daughter started getting dunked at 15 months by one of the life guards.  She held her and made it a game-  Lots of smiling.  The result my daughter never was scared of putting her face in the water knowing it would come out.  Also if you get in the water  they love it with you.

Swimming age  3-4 What to expect: Make sure they kick on the wall and blow bubbles in the water continue to be use to the water. Get that face wet- super important.  (Don’t to this—>)  I tried to get my kids to float .. yea it just kind of freaks them out.  Let the kids get familiar with the water on there terms .. Do Not force because they will not progress.  Tip: buy your child Swim Goggles they make a child love to swim  because they can see underwater.

Swimming 4-5 years What to expect:  Start a more independent swimming and don’t expect greatness.  Very few kids total get it right away.  I found many parents think (including me) there kids are great and can do it and push quickly. The kids say I can do it and become disruptive in swim class. Listen to the Swim Teacher and take the ques from them.  Because the know how to teach swimming.  The best thing is to spend as much time at the pool as possible.

***In My Opinion: before your child goes to Kindergarten they are great at everything, at least as a parent I thought he could do everything my little angel and he was the best .. then Kindergarten and reality sets in,  your kids is great at somethings? this is true with your 1st  especially your 1st.. I hate to say it I can always spot a that Parent. Last Year I watch a little girl struggle in a class that was above her level ,  because Dad thought she was/needed to at that Level.  The Swim Teacher said she need to be at a lower level, the Dad said The swim Teacher was wrong, forcing the girl and teacher. The little girl disrupted and cried the entire class.  Taking away from the lesson from the other children.  So listen to your teachers.

Swimming 5-6 Kids What to expect: What to expect  might be progressing on the basic stokes Crawl (aka Freestyle) and Breast stroke (back and fly are harder) .  Breathing and learning how not to stop and stand while take breath is the hard part. Also some kids get the arms then struggle moving the feet.  Girls tend to progress quick then the boys,  They seem to be more coordinated  with arms and feet moving at the same time.  Again look to Swim Teacher.  This is the time that most kids will try to jump off the diving board.  They will be concerned with the deep water. Most swim teaches will catch the children.

Please note my son hated going off the Diving board (I did push the diving board thing-I am no saint) My son fought for a very long time , he did not get the rhythm (of not touch the ground) or go off the till right before 1st grade late Aug.   My son also swam underwater for a very long time(holding his breath) ,  the breathing was a major issue.

Swimming Ages 6-7 What to expect: They really start to get things going, swimming forward, The children start to  understand concepts and try to do them some kids will start really moving forward. They are confidant in the water.

My daughter started swim team at this point (after 1st grade) wanting to be like her older bother.. yea she was slow to cross the pool and I think the life guards were on pins and needles when she swam thinking she was going to drown (she would flail her arms and would not move forward when doing the crawl.)  She was very determined to make it.   I did ask if she could switch to breast stroke because they breath on every stroke making swimming easier. She went from 1.5 minutes to cross the pool with in a month she was able to cross the pool in 38 seconds.

Swimming ages 7-8 What to expect: This is the Sweet spot age the kids really start to get it.  They are confidant and willing to learn.  They have a need to do better and want to improve.   Expose them to the water and you will find amazing things happen quickly.  I call it when things “Click”  they learn how to control their bodies.   If you kids has not started swimming make sure they start at this age because the have the best attitude to learn, swiming that does not come easy for some, and it takes time.

Swimming ages 9-13 What to expect: This is when I find the girls can fly in the water compared to the boys they are more coordinated and  better listeners. Also 11-13 year old girls look like they are years ahead of the boys, because many girls start to develop  with puberty.  There male swimmers who are standouts ..but  the boys tend to screw around more,  they splash each others an rough house.  Also for some reason boys spit water on each other (gross).  Then 11-12 boys they get it and focus more.. After 13 they are developing it is fun to see the dramatic change  that happen with boys in the pool.boy swimming

I have learned from my kids I such as I should never teaching my kids how to swim.  It is best if the Swim Teachers and Coaches teach them. (I learned when my son was 5 –  when he said Mom I can do it and shut me down) I felt it was best to leave the professionals to do it. I just provided praise and support.  I made sure they had oprotunity to learn.   I have spent many years sitting by a local pool.  I am not an expert except years of watching a learn with my kids.

Next week:  be sure to check out my post “So your Kid want to be on swim Team?   What to expect”
I also want to add if you are looking for Swim gear for your self or your kids check out swimoutlet.com they have the best prices around. I find my favorite Place to Shop On Line for Swim Gear  is SwimOutlet.com   the prices are the best and they have anything a swim family will need.

 

LIfe, Parenting

Strong Mom Empower Summit

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sherry aikens and Kerri lee Walsh
Me (Sherry Aikens) and Olympic Volleyball Gold Medalist Kerri Walsh who was the Keynote Speaker Discussing her experiences as a mother.

Strong Moms Empower Summit  I know that their has been some controversy about the Strong Moms campaign being sponsored or created by Simalac. But the Message which is being said is important regardless to who is speaking.  We need to stop beating an judging other mothers.  Now I have to put aside my feeling about to breastfeed or not to breastfeed, or somewhere in the middle.  Because that is every mothers choice and I am not to make the choice for another women.  It is her child and her baby.  Not mine.

The message was we as mother have to stop judging other mothers,  because their choice is their choice… period.  I agree what might work for me might not work for someone else. So who am I to judge another mother. Regardless, to who is started or pays for the conversation about mom judgement, we are all smart enough to have a conversations and express out ideas or thoughts regardless to who foots the bill.

So what was the conversation about at the Strong Moms Empower summit???

Here are some of the tweets coming out during the summit:

lessons: Stop judging other moms, pick each other up, deal w/stress away from children, be positive & strong & empowered!

  “When you don’t have confidence in yourself you are more likely to be critical of others” via

Walk for a moment in her shoes before you judge. We never know the background story from

Children react – both positively and negatively – to parents emotions, facial expressions, tone of voice.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”

  Inspiration via on mothering/judgement: it’s not the stuff we do as mothers that matters, it’s who we are.

  I Might Parent Differently Than You – But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Wrong 

  Agreed! Motherhood should bring us together, not tear us apart. We’re all in this together! 

left the summit feeling unstoppable as a woman and as a mother! Thank you for that!

So I think Chantal statement shows how talking no matter who brings us together is what is really important so lets support each other.

I will be straight with you. Simlac was mentioned as the sponsor at the once at the start of the conversation and once thanks them for sponsoring in the end. (no reference to breastfeed or not to breastfeeding.)  There was no formula laid out in samples or anything mentioned.   So was the discussion valid yes,  do we judge as mothers and can we take simple steps to stop the cycle. Yes,  so lets keep talking and see what change can happen.

Disclosure: I was not paid for this post I did receive lunch and a bracelet form BaubleBar (which is too small for me) at this lunch.  The Opinions in this post are my own.

LIfe, Photography

Patriot Guards Riders

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flag and motorcyclesToday as I was leaving the grocery store,  I had the privilege to meeting some pretty special men who honor our fallen hero.  The Patriot Guard Riders are local men and women all over the county,  who ride motorcycles or hogs,  that volunteer to show up to honor the hero fallen heroes of United States.   You might recall these are the amazing men and women who have shown up at fallen solider funerals to shown respect and have shield the love ones from protestors.

There were not protestors today, a few news vans.  The local charter was out today to stand for Fallen Fireman Captain Michael Goodwin. Goodwin died Saturday night in the line of duty, battling a fire that began in a South Philadelphia fabric store.

Moose SimonI was fortunate to speak with Moose Simon (seen above) the past director of the local Buck county chapter told me a little about what they do.  He said said he has been attending for 8 years,  his bike seeing over 80K miles in patriot rides..  They ride and stand quietly honoring service men, veterans, police and fireman. It is is a way of showing respect.   I was at the store several hours before the funeral precession was to arrive,  and more motorcycles arrived as I spoke to Moose, The normally loud bikes.. coming and sitting quietly wait for the hero. patriot gaurd riders and there motorcyclesa man who is patroit guard

The Patriot Guards ride  either by request or the family or on there own  stays respectfully present for the Fallen Hero.  I loved the passion  and patriotism these men showed for their country and the men/women who serve.  Moose told me many of the World War II vets don’t have many who attend there services so we like to show up and pay our respects and thank them.  He said they put the call out to the riders, via email,  and who can come will come,  flying the Stars and Stripes with Pride!   motorcycles and flags

The local Buck County Pa chapter of Patriot Guard Riders has  about 150 riders.  National the Patriot Guard has 250K member and is not expanding to Canada.

So as Philadelphia mourns today for the loss of a great hero.  I feel thankful that men like Moose and his riders are there to honor those who have passed.

Thank You Patriot Guards Riders

LIfe, Parenting, Photography

A letter to my 12 year old

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little boyDear 12 year old son

You are amazing.. you made me who I am today.  12 years ago you came in to this world.. you were not ready to come 43+ hours of induced labor you were not ready to arrive then.  My blond haired blued boy.. I was almost 30 and still was not sure I was ready .. but there you were.  All 21 inches 6.8 lb tall and skinny.  You are mine and no one else will be your mom.. you are always my boy.

Everyone said you were a Toe Head  .. it means blond hair blue eyes. I had to look it up. (random thought)

I love everything about you.  You may look like your Dad but I get you.  I know who you are,  you like me.  You can get frustrated at yourself.  Remember it always works out.  Your life is limitless  you can accomplish anything.. continue to think differently and outside the box.  It is much more fun and fulling life.

Your compassion.. you have show compassion and empathy for others from an early age.  Please continue to do some it is one of your greatest gifts. Please find time to give to others.. you will never regret it.

I love that fact that you are kind and even to your sister.

When you can travel see the world and experience new things. You will not regret it.

2 things:

Learn to cook a man who cooks can always feed himself.

Learn to dance a man who can dance is never alone

When you walked away today .. I felt it you are getting older, bigger, and growing into a man.. It makes me sad but also grateful that I was blessed with such a amazing son.

Happy Birthday!

Love Mom12 year old boy

 
LIfe, Photography

My Valentines Week and Link Up

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My valentines  week..  pictures of of the last week

Snow storm from my shop  Babypop superhero cape
superhero kids capeFrom Toy Fair 2013..Madame Alexander Dollsdolls

My boy at the science fair, he got in to the  finals judging. It was on fracting Marcellus shale.

I made 9 loaves of Bread in a bag for Ash Wednesday at church.  The Recipe for easy Bread in a Bag.bread

I made a valentines box .. See the post how to make Valentines  Mod Podge trunk  and giveaway mod podge trunk

What has your week been like?

Add Your Valentines Related Post!


Fitness Fridays, LIfe

Weight Loss 52 weeks Later

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fitbit Weight loss.. Yea back to the grind.  No, it is not the New Year that gets me back on track.  It is the end of my businesses busy season that pulls me off healthy track:  because I have to ship and play Santa, because I go in survival mode.  Many people would say you have to remember yourself when stress levels get high.   Yea, I am not good at that, so for about a month and half all that matter is getting my orders shipped.  During this time I work had and try to be a super human.

The good news this year is I did not gain over the holidays because I work and forget to eat.  I force my self to work and reward my self with an apple or cup of tea.  I was also sick cold or flu for a week so I just drank water and tea.  I did partake over the holidays but not that much as usual.

Started walking  with my good friend Hilary again. So I am back on track we went walking on Friday and today.  I am already hitting 10K steps a day.

I also been using the FitBit to track my progress.  My weigh myself on the Fitbit Aria scale is a big help because it syncs with my fitbit.  The Fitbit is a interactive pedometer that syncs with your computer it tracks  your steps, stairs,burn rate, activity rate, and more.   How about your sleep pattern fitbit will track yours.  The fitbit clips to your bra, waistband and they even have a new bracelet.  The Fitbit interface will offer remind via text or email you how many steps you have to do to reach a goal. You can also link up the fitbit with social media.  I love it it keeps we going through out the day.  You’re just steps away from better fitness.

I am really looking forward to getting back to being active.

One year ago today  I weight 276  today 258.6-    19.4lb lost in the last year

Good Health to you in the new year!

I am linking up with Barb Hoyer’s Motivation Monday post at Abalancedlife.net .

(this post contains affiliate links)

 

Try Fitbit now.

LIfe, Parenting

Hurricane Halloween

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kids standing in front of fallen treeThis is a Halloween my kids will never forget. Hurricane Halloween.  This is a tree that fell at a neighbors house,  the family and houses are safe. I hope that all people who are without power and suffering.  Find relief and are able to return home soon.

So here are some pictures of our Hurricane Halloween. girl dressed up as a witch

My son went as Micheal Phelps complete with swim shorts and 21 medals.  This was the easiest costume we Printed out “USA” and cut them out of felt and put them on the back of a Track suit I found at the Thrift store.  Then I printed the medals out and used a hole punch the ribbon was from the craft store and I could reuse the ribbon to tie up bread at Christmas.   The cap I found at a swim store.  Goggles left from the summer.

boy dressed at Micheal PhelpsMy superhero’s   lucky I have a few around super dad

Both the Dogs – Grundy was happy about the food.. dog in a capeLLyod was not happy with a cape he would not look at the camera and he was thrown a little off by the costumesdog in a capeHope you have a happy and safe Halloween!

Link up to AllthingsChic Halloween Costume Carnival

 

LIfe, Marriage, Parenting, Psoriasis, Uncategorized

7 Good Days- Coping with Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis

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canes on the groundCoping with Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis: My husband Jeff was 39 when it happened.  His bio meds started to fail after 3 years of good results.  We were Disney World in Florida the 1st time we went as a family, it was  December 2008. My husbands  arthritis came back with vengeance.   He was on Remicade at the time $3200 per bag of the Biologic Drug to keep the Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis away- Thank god for insurance.  My husband limped through Disney as his joints and muscles ached from the arthritis.

When we got home Jeff went to the Doctor  they decided to up his Remicade and put the treatments closer together. So every 4 weeks Jeff would go for 8 viles of the Drug $5600.  The remicade stops his over active immune system to hopefully slow down the affects of  the arthritis.

At first the drug infusions would last 2 weeks.. then Jeff would suffer for 2 weeks, until he could get another infusion of the drug. During this period we would schedule our family plans during the 2 weeks  knowing  that Jeff would be mobile enough to participate in our family’s lives.

Then the drug only lasted 7 days..

7 good days to be a family not affect by arthritis.

7 good days..  he could spend time going to his kids events.

7 days of living..

….then the other 21 of pain.

Then April came  drug failed and my husband had a reaction and could no longer get a remicade.  He went in to severe allergic reaction while getting his infusion , oxygen was required.

The 7 good days were lost

Jeff was at the end of the arthritis drug list.  He taken everything the doctors had available and built up immunities to all the current drugs.

He was 39.

The true darkness set in.  My husband went in full arthritis mode.  The “dark days”  or months as I like to call them.   Jeff’s arthritis got so bad he could barely walk.  His feet became huge,  he wore slippers 2 sizes to big,  he could not close his hands,and  Jeff could not climb stairs.  His inflammation levels were off the charts.

Jeff dragged himself to work everyday.. which is why I think,  people believed he was ok. The reason Jeff worked, he was paranoid about loosing health insurance.  At no point during “the dark days”  were things ok.. he would parking Handicap (he had a tag at this point) drag his body to the door with a cane, ride the elevator up and sit at his desk all day.  His co-workers assisting and picking everything up from him at his desk.  They watched him suffer too, his smiling personality gone.

Another reason he worked besides the insurance?  Jeff thought he was too young to stop working and go on disability. He wanted to contribute somehow,  he needed a reason to continue,  and providing for us was it … he wanted to live somehow.

Jeff no longer slept in our bed or tuck in his kids since he could not do stairs.

Jeff asked that he no longer drive or watch the kids.  The reason was he could not help or react if something went wrong, he could not save his own children.

He lost 50 pounds because it he could not cut his food and  hurt to eat,  the arthritis was every where.

The cane was in full use to assist him so he did not fall and the walker was ready to go when he needed  it..

He was 39

Arthritis Affects on our Family:

During that time  I was trying to keep everything “normal”.  I went to hockey practice, dance, worked, and more.   I made dinner every night, cleaned,  did everything.  Including taking care of Jeff.   He need help dressing, showering, and in the bathroom.   I did it all like it was ok, Me ..I normally speak up if I am unhappy,  during this time I existed  never saying a word about how terrible it really was, feeling as people never really got it.  I was dieing inside watching him suffer.

During this period as Jeff’s arthritic caregiver  I questioned everything:   My marriage, my family, my friends, our home, and beliefs.

While Jeff was at work ..I would cry and cry, not want him to see the tears.  I hated the feeling I was having 38 years old destine to be a caregiver for this arthritic man with no end in site.  I gained weight 298lb, stopped taking care of myself,  and existed as a mother. I was also diagnosed with diabetes.. the doctor told me with the stress it could have made me flip the switch from borderline to full Diabetes.  It also explained the depression.  Then the guilt of I am not suffering like him.. so it was not ok to feel sad.

My son age 8 at the time .. who was always close to his father felt pushed away he wanted thing to go back to normal.  He wondered if he would get this .. what Daddy had.  He acted up in school and was good at home to not upset is fragile dad and crumbling mother.   He grew up so fast during this time,  he became more responsible.  That is not the way you want your child to be come responsible  because he has to.   His only wish to go camping and fish with his father..

Jeff saying  “Buddy I cant do it.. I cant walk through the woods”

My heart died a little at the little boys request.

My daughter 3 at the time,  begged to sit on her dads lap , but she could not.   Jeff’s arthritis  set into his rib cage, where the tendons meets the bones,  which also made it hard to breath.  His arthritis was in all his tendons making it difficult to be touched.  I watch as Jeff was crushed telling his little girl she could not sit on his lap.

Hope:

One Sunday in June  after 6 months,  I cracked emotional  at church someone asked me how was Jeff, I lost it, Crying in the hall in front of everyone.  I told the truth.. he was not having anymore 7 good days. We were existing.. I was worried about him, our kids, and I was sad.  The people at church stepped up .. they brought meals to us for 2 months.. hope and happiness returned to our lives.

We started seeing  many of the best doctors in the area,  finally a doctor gave him a newly approved  drug.  It took 6 months to work but Jeff got back in to remission.  He has a better diet, reducing stress, and tries to work out. All which help.

Here is the thing it will be back,  I am realistic.  it scares me terrible to go back to those days.. Arthritis always comes back.   It is a good chance my children will get it also.  We need the Arthritis foundation and researchers  to continue to discover relief and cures.   We need more research and more drugs .. because he is only 42 and He has to walk his daughter down the aisle in 20 years..

World Arthritis Day is Tomorrow October 12, 2012. Please help if you can and raise awareness.

 

 

LIfe, Marriage, Parenting

My Observation of Temporary Single Parenting

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chocolate cake and a girlMy Observation of Temporary Single Parenting:

Hubby is hunting.. he will be home tonight.. He has only shot 1 deer in the 19 years we have been together (is that what bow hunter call it –  shot but not with a gun) .  I asked him once why he likes to hunt he says he likes the quite of the wood, he never sees a deer.  I think he likes to get away from us  where it is quiet. ..Just a thought.

So hunting =sitting in the woods for 3 days  = result   no deer.

My husband helps alot,  not with the cleaning but with the kids.

Something to be said when he was away the kids are easier. You think it would be easier when he is home 2 against one.   Not for me when my kids don’t have Dad to go to they tend to listen better.. because it is only me.. Yes I am Meany or Tyrant  .. but I become easy going mom..

I also find that I am better parent for the most part.  I yell less and get frustrated less because I am not expecting him to pick up the slack.

Bedtime comes earlier, showers go smother, morning go easier less yelling.   The dishes are usually done because no one else will do them.

I think of the Bill Cosby Skit..

Dad is great he lets us eat chocolate cake but..

instead it is

Mom is great she lets us eat chocolate cake.. I am more fun..

Life runs a little smoother.. because I am not expecting anyone else to help.

Downside

I am tired.. it is exhausting,  I am use to having him here.. he makes me giggle.

Plus have to wipe the bulldogs butt.

Thank God.. He will be home tomorrow.  I hate single Parenting