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How to teach responsibility : That can grow with your child

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How to teach responsibility ?:  I have been thinking alot about one of the prompts I was given to write about for my last Pley post “How do you teach young kids about responsibility?”  My oldest is 15 yep,  just turned it last month.  I have to say everyday, I am more and more in love with who my son has become.  Not only has he become responsible but a truly caring person.  He looks at the world through empathetic eyes and views the world as his “responsibility.”

I know, a 15 year old who really cares about others, he does, which still takes me as by surprise even though he has always been this way.  This weekend he helped a 12 year boy swim across a pool kicking for the 1st time after 4 years swimming practice.  Rooting  his “little buddy” on to win gold, it made my heart swell to watch them both grow.  He has taken responsibility for his buddy success. I love when  find out that he has stopping to see a neighbor on his way home from school without being asked to check that he is “all right”. He want to make sure his older friend is safe and healthy.

 

Swimming_IMG_2844

 

Today i was asked,   How did your Son come to understand responsibility for enhancing others lives?  I said I always stressed the importance of caring and understanding for others.

Some people have more,  and some have less,  some just are plan happy with the gifts they are given.

It started when he was little I would have him run soup to older neighbors, or have them work with me to give donation to a toy bank.   I remember my little boy wanting to give all his saved money when a collection was not taken.  He said  he wanted to give because it was his responsibility to give to other kids that had less.  He is still your typical teen never picking up his mess, regardless he is always amazing in my eyes.

Allowing kids to find balance and learn the world is a much bigger place then their block or street. Teaching there are others that are in your own world that can benefit from kindness.  Children will learn it always comes back to you 2 fold.  Just the basics be good and kind then responsibility will come.

How do you teach Responsibility?

This Post was sponsored by Pley-  Pley is a monthly toy subscription based service that allows you to pick out the toy of your choosing.  The toy of your choice gets shipped to you. When the child is finished you simply put the toy back in the packaging and ship it back postage paid.   You are taking responsibility to not add to landfills and teach your child responsibility for a toy.  It is a “Win Win” on the responsibility front.   It is a rental toy dream because your kids get to play with all those expensive toys sets without the cost.   That is also being responsible with your money.   Check out Pley here.

 

 

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Check out my other parenting posts:

 

16 Ways To Teach Kids to be Grateful

 

Don’t be Angry Mom

 

Parenting, sponsored posts

16 Ways To Teach Kids to be Grateful

Pley Disclosure

kids playing with toys from Pley

16 Ways To Teach Kids to be Grateful:  With 2 kids and a limited budget.  I feel teaching expectation and gratitude  has always been very important learning toys are not a requirements when we go to the store or anywhere.  When my son was younger, I remember being in a large store (the one with a bullseye logo).  We were shopping for clothes and toiletries.  My son who was about 4 at the time started throwing a temper tantrum about getting a toy car.   I was not sure what to do,  I remembered  a discussion with a mom who told me once she just left a store,  leaving the cart in the isle to teach her child not to ask for toys.

On this day.. I decided enough was a enough,  we were in the card isle, this little boy would not let up.  I grabbed my daughter and walked away saying “We are leaving (full cart abandoned… sorry to who every cleaned it up) … he was so shocked he stopped crying.  I think he thought we would go back,  and we did not.  We drove towards home and I did not say a word.  When we pulled in the driveway,  I turned around and informed him that going to store does not mean he will get a toy.  That was the day I decided, I will not have a kid that expected toys for everything and would be grateful when he did receive .

16 Ways To Teach Kids to be Grateful

How do you teach kids how to not beg for every single toy they see and to be grateful for what they have.

  1. Toys are not a reward for everyday task.. For larger tasks/goals like working all summer to jump off diving board, great grades.
  2. Create a list of toys and evaluate it and explain that one or 2 items not all items may be purchased.
  3. It is ok to wait for a holiday gifts Christmas, Hanukkah , and Birthdays
  4. Teach your kids one or 2 gifts are ok to get,  it is not a contest.
  5. Teach your child to appreciate toys and gifts,  say “Thank you”and take your time
  6. On holidays open each person gift one at a time, they gift giver took the time to locate and purchase the gift, not to mention spent money- gifts are not a given they should be appreciated.
  7. Every Holiday or everyday  is not a toy holiday or gift holiday (Easter, 4th of July, going to grandmas house) are not reasons for gifts, toys, money or  Xbox games.
  8. Set limits on value of toys (my son once wanted a $200 Lego set, that was not in our budget,  he saved for it)
  9. It is OK not to have what there friends have.
  10. Life is not always about being equal or fair –  Sometimes one person will get something and you will have to remind them of past gifts or toys they received (jealousy is not good, teach of the good they have)
  11. Lower Expectations avoiding instant gratification complex
  12. Lead by example:  Do not always buy something for yourself,  1st time you see it, teach them window shopping and planning for goals.  (chart or saving for item)
  13. It is ok not to have the latest or greatest, and used is fine.  Try a thrift store.
  14. It is good to want it makes things special when you do receive them.
  15. Souvenirs and Toy are not required when we go someplace the experience is enough. This is particular important when you child goes somewhere with other people.  For us this is a big one. Being a blogger I get invited to many places.  I love sharing some of these experience with others.  I do however inform a parent and child that we will not be purchasing souvenir when we go.  The experience is enough, and planing for a decorative souvenir cup for $12 each kid (a whopping $36 on plastic crap that will be throw away in a few weeks) will not happen.  If the kid bring money for his souvenir then it makes my kids feel left out.  Plus the kid who is focused on the souvenir and shopping is missing the actually experience.   My kids are invited many places because they are grateful, always say thank you and don’t ask for stuff. (this is drilled in there heads)  Trust me if you are teaching your kids they need to purchase or get something everywhere they go you are doing a disservice to them.  Because I have heard the other parents and kids mention it,  I know certain kids don’t get invited for this reason.
  16. Teach your kids to verbalize what they liked about a day, experience, or being with family asks specific question on a ride home or at the table.  Have them focus on playing with friends, or great food, what they liked about the stories of the days will help the to build resilience and find fulfillment.

Setting your kids up to live with less stuff allows your kids to experience more with there minds.   The truth is you will not always be there supplying them with funds, teaching them the value of money and Life is not about acquiring stuff is a skill that will always benefit them to seek true happiness.

This Post is sponsored by Pley.  Pley is a subscription based toy service.  You pay a monthly fee starting as low as $9.99,  the kids pick out the toys they are interested in.  Then one of the toys is sent for the child to play with till they choose not too.  You return the toy in the prepaid package and another is sent.    They have amazing toys Legos, American Girl and more.  I love this service because it teaches kids that time and patience and not in instant gratification.  Pley is also a great service because they toys are cleaned and reused by another child.   It teaches also that wanting is good and be grateful when the toys  arrives.   Rental toys create less clutter, less stuff, and time for more experiences.

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LIfe, Parenting

Don’t be Angry Mom

girl playing with pley toy service

Pley Disclosure

Toys Toys Toys they are everywhere in my home. My daughters is 10 1/2  and her room is a field of toys and books.  When you walk across you take the health of your feet into jeopardy.  Her closet which leads to our storage space, I only get to every few months because of her toy clutter.  I don’t think she understood that the clean up song in preschool and it can be sung at home. The biweekly ritual (struggle)  of time to clean up your room little girl is my parenting fail.  Which lead to The Purge.

Every few months I threaten “The Purge.”
It goes like this ..
Me: “Clean your room. “
Her: “I will after the show is over” after me asking 3-4 times then she mopes unwilling upstairs
2 hours later…
She is downstairs watching TV with a box of cereal sitting next to her
Me: “Is your room clean? “
Her: “Un-huh yup”
Me: “Do I need to double check? Is it my standard of clean? or yours? “
Her : “There might be a few things on the floor” she hustles upstairs again to avoid the wrath of Angry Mom
20 minutes later…
Me: I visit the room that organization forgot. The toy landmines went off boom BIG BOOM. Toys everywhere, under everything somehow it is worse???  That small sharp block pierce my big toe. (a curse word that rhymes with “it” might have been said)
The room is war zone and my top is blown “Angry” Mom comes for a visit
She running up to her room she “cleans” for another hour”

Apparently her definition of “Cleaning” is dancing around her room singing happily…I think she thinks she is Cinderella and the bluebirds are coming to help!

Yea No Bluebirds.. No little mice.. (because they would die of suffocation in that pig sty.. a slow and excruciating death.)

After another hour or 2 … I step in with the dreaded garbage bag and “The Purge” Begins.. some tears occur for the loss of her toys  but then acceptance sets in (the beginning stages of grief.)

rulls for keeping your kids rooms claen so you dont become angry mom

Toy Purge Rules:

  • Anything broken or missing parts
  • Anything that has come with food aka in cereal boxes or in a box food meal
  • Anything chewed
  • Anything dented
  • Any loose beads
  • Anything with marker, pen or crayon marks
  • Loose or ripped paper
  • We also purge any clothes shoes that do not fit.
  • Anything that you have not played with in the last 6 months
  • Back to basic rules everything has a place..
  • Clean and make sure floor is clean every night
  • If you room is not clean cant go out or have someone over.. (have to admit this is not a great rule for me because I do need her to go out especially in the summer)

The major purge timetable before Christmas, birthday, end of school and beginning of school.

It is tough raising kids maybe it is my penance because well I was a messy kid. My mother recalls my sister and I putting tape down the center of our shared room because my mess. I am sure my mother snickers every time she gets off the phone with me, when I am complain about my daughter being a hot mess.
I am just Super-exhausted from my daughter getting tired of toys and abandoning them to land of her forgotten toys. That is why I am so excited to learn about Pley.

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You have not hear of Pley? It is service that you pay a monthly fee and the toys of your choice are sent to your kids. They play with them. Then you return them for new to you toys. Great right?  No more forgotten toys, once the kids are done you send them back to Pley for a new toys.   What I love about the service is Pley has the toys that are pricey so you can build them then so they get the experience and challenge of the build. They look at it for a few day you can get pictures of the experience. Then the kids move on and so do the toys out of your house.

The Pley toys are cleaned and shared.  Reuse and recycle no toys going to “the purge” and landfills.   Wonderful for the environment and your home.

Less mess
Avoid Angry Mom
Try Pley

kids playing with toys from Pley